Dream Mother

Before you were
whole & really alive
I dreamt of you & I
together
forever

That dream was
shattered
by a tugging to
real to be imagined
they were taking you

from you
tearing my insides out
I tried to hold on to you
but they pulled you
from me

I closed my eyes
thinking you'd still be there
where you've always been
in my dreams

In my dreams where
I hold you
rock you and
comfort you
In my dreams where
I watch you
as you grow into
a happy child
a gorgeous child
a brilliant child
A child who laughs
and plays and throws
kisses to me
because I am always
with you
Hush now,
momma's here

In my dreams where
you grow taller
and more beautiful
than ever
In my dreams where
I am at your graduations and
engagement parties

In my dreams where
I am your proud mother

But then
in my dream
your mother turns
and she's not
me

I waken with
a start
to a nightmare
of emptiness and
loneliness
soaked with tears
and sweat

I can recall your
birth
with vivid sweet pain
but, the rest
the rest
was it all
just a dream?

Once I saw you
and spoke to you
we touched
breaking the cardinal
rule:
one mustn't touch
a dream
I tried to bring you
back with me
to my reality
and almost lost you

Hush now,
mamma's gone
I will not scare you
again
You needn't run away
I'll go back
and content myself
with my beautiful
dream of you
in which you are
my child
forever