Before I Was a Mom

Before I was a Mom...
I made and ate hot meals...
I had unstained clothing...
I had quiet conversations on the telephone.

Before I was a Mom...
I slept in as late as I wanted...
And never worried about how late I went to bed...
I brushed my hair every day.

Before I was Mom...
I cleaned my house every day...
I never tripped over toys in the middle of the night...
I never forgot words to lullabies.

Before I was a Mom...
I didnt worry whether or not my plants were poisonous...
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom...
I had never been thrown up on...
pooped on
spit on
chewed on
peed on
or pinched on by tiny fingers.

Before I was a Mom...
I had complete control of my thoughts...
My body
My mind
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom...
I never held down a screaming child so the doctor can give shots...
I never looked into teary eyes and cried...
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin...
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom...
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didnt want to put him down...
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldnt stop the hurt...
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much...
I never knew you could love someone so much that you just met for the first time...
I never knew just how much I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom...
I didnt know the feeling of having my heart outside my body...
I didnt know how special it would feel to feed a hungry baby...
I didnt know that bond between a Mother and her child.

Before I was a Mom...
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was ok...
I had never known the warmth...
the joy
the love
the heartache
the satisfaction
the total fulfillment of being a Mom.
I didnt know I was capable of feeling so much...Before I was a Mom.

(I wrote this about my son Michael. We were blessed with him through the fost/adopt program. He is and will always be the light of my life.)